Erotic depictions of women in drawing, painting, sculpture and photography from the dawn of man to the present.

Friday, May 22, 2015

Oddly shaped Venus: Kate Upton




Now, fortunately we are all attracted to different types or there would be vicious competition for a small pool of mates.  Yesterday one of our readers took exception to us calling Kate Upton "deformed",  He ventured that she was "perfect" and it is nice that he finds her visually pleasing. However, we really cannot understand either his or America's love affair with this oddly-shaped woman.




Now she is certainly pretty and approaching beautiful.  She certainly has a massive pair of breasts, although Victoria's Secret have said that she looks too much like a Page 3 girl for them to use her (although she has done work for them in the past).  In fact from the top of her head down to the underside of her bust she is certainly, for example, Playboy Playmate material.  Below this point, however, it all starts to go awry. 




Basically, Upton has no waist and what waist she has is really high up her body and very wide (it is, reportedly, 28 inches).  She also has no visible hips.  So from below the bust to below her groin her body looks like a block of Spam.  Now she has posed for Sports Illustrated's swimsuit edition several times but of course, like all such magazines, they use Photoshop extensively.  So here is a video capture shot where no manipulation has been done.  That is one big, solid square below her bust.




Here is another unmanipulated shot of her wearing a badly fitting bikini in a runway show.




Now Upton has issues with her weight but this isn't about carrying too much fat; it's about basic body shape.   




Lets compare her to the UK's equivalent, Kelly Brook (whose weight also fluctuates).  Here is another unmanipulated candid shot of Kelly.  Look at her hip to waist ratio.




Here is Candice Swanpoel, another swimsuit model.  She has a waist too.




Upton isn't the only popular model without a waist.  Here is the world's highest paid model, Giselle Bundchen.  She looks like the product of a sex change operation.  Triple P doesn't find her remotely attractive.

So, sorry Kate fans, we do not find her body attractive at all.  Good for you, Kate, for forging a successful career from your body but we all know that there are two reasons that this has worked and those two reasons seem to overshadow the rest of you.  We like to appreciate the total woman.


19 comments:

  1. I don't understand the appeal of Upton.

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  2. If I may approach a middle-ground in this argument: because the media/fashion industry thrusts so many girls like Bundchen at us as ideal, sometimes I get a little more excited that I would be otherwise when someone like Upton comes along. Just having a pretty girl with some meat on her is refreshing. That said, all your well-made points are taken. I actually like the occasional odd-shaped body. (For example, I like the big ass/small tits look over vice versa.)

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  3. What's the saying...beauty comes in all shapes and sizes? I've never actually heard of Kate Upton before, or most of the names mentioned...(perhaps I need to get out more....or less!) - Jennifer Lawrence aside - and you'd really have to live under a giant rock to have never heard of her, I suppose (she has, or used to have, a lovely and natural appeal, in my opinion).

    Anyway, back to the unusually-shaped Miss Upton...I can see what you're saying in some ways, but I would still venture she is more attractive than the usual FHM/Maxim types which adorn magazines and hog the entertainment website sidebars.

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  4. Does she have a classic belly dancer physique?

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    1. Actually you may have just rescued her in my mind with that observation!

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  5. Venus with a belly....a new category? And a 'belly' tag!

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    1. I think it's time for some belly dancers!

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    2. Venus with a belly tag added!

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  6. Kate's hot because she has boobs. At least that's what I understand.

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    1. Yes, and nothing more. When she walks the runway it appears as if two chipmunks are fighting inside each breast. But even though she is from my home state of Michigan I can't defend her appeal. She's done a series of television promotions for a video game and while I hoped for a sultry bedroom voice to convince me of raw sex appeal, I froze from a harsh, cookie-cutter Mid-Western monotone. Perhaps she smells nice.

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    2. We have just started getting the game commercial here. I don't think a major acting career is in prospect.

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  7. Here in the U.S., she has become notorious for a series of commercials for a "pay-to-win" video game called "Game of War" (creative?). The game is now widely derided as "The Boobie Game", since her boobs, and boobs only, are prominently displayed in the ads. So, that's pretty much her appeal. Facially, and certainly everything else, Upton has never appealed to me. The only big boob type that appeals to me is the classic Christy Canyon body type, big boobs, with the narrow waist, wide hips, and flatter derriere.

    I will plead guilty to liking Gisele Bündchen's "two [fake] boobs on a stick", with the narrow hips; I've always preferred the stick-figure body type, but I know I'm in the minority of men. I think that a lot of women like it however, which is why designers use them so frequently for models...they get the attention of even straight women. I do also agree with the other poster on the small breast/wide hips/big butt look, however, in the media, they're hard to find outside of porn.

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  8. Hey, her "odd" shape got her a role in that 'Three Stooges' movie, so...oh, wait....

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  9. This reminded me how Michelangelo's women also have no curves(muscly ripples, yes, curves no) - perhaps, given his apparent predilections, he preferred to depict a male beauty form and plug two breasts on it - as you say, Kate Upton's top third has a charming, serendipitously attractive curviness, but from her torso down things seem to get more... stocky/jocky. Gisele's bodyvshape seems to change - pics from 15 years ago have her somewhat curvier... Maybe having children, and the harsh post-pregnancy regime that goes in hand with that, has changed her.

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  10. I don't know who Kate Upton is, but she is very pretty, has nice hair, lovely legs and fantastic boobs. Ideally she would get rid of that tummy and have a more hourglass figure, but I certainly wouldn't say no to a night of passion with her if I had the chance! I think I prefer her figure to a girl with a tiny waist but hardly any boobs

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  11. I think Upton is _very_ pretty and, in motion in video, quite charming. But I've agreed all along with you, Triple P, about her body: utterly bizarre in shape and not attractive.

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  12. I don't think Upton is beautiful or pretty; very cute is as far as I'll go and she does have nice hair.
    But TripleP is right - that's one very odd female body shape and as a man who appreciates a well-shaped rump, Upton's best , erm, assets are not in the backfield.
    I predict that in 5-10 years, she'll undergo boob surgery to stave off serious sagging, even if she drops quite a few pounds.

    As for Gisele Bundchen, yeah, I don't get it either - but several of her FIVE sisters are VERY cute.
    Her dad must have been a nervous wreck as they passed through puberty.
    But if Bundchen can make it as a supermodel, I have to wonder why Gabrielle Reece couldn't.

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    1. I liked Reece too but she had a nose that photographed poorly.

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