Erotic depictions of women in drawing, painting, sculpture and photography from the dawn of man to the present.

Saturday, May 23, 2015

Film Poster Venus: The Sin of Nora Moran by Alberto Vargas (1896-1982)

This poster for the largely forgotten 1933 melodrama The Sin of Nora Moran, is regularly voted as one of the greatest film posters of all time.  It is by that great artist of the female form, Alberto Vargas, whose paintings would decorate Esquire and Playboy magazines.  It is a great example of Vargas' painting technique in that he invariable started with the form of a nude woman and then added any clothes over the top which gave his pictures a form-clinging sensuousness.  In fact his supposedly clothed pin up paintings for Esquire were considered so revealing that their presence in the magazine was a key contributor to the US Post Office revoking Esquire's second class mailing rights in 1946.  As a result of trying to clean up their image Esquire dropped Vargas and he wasn't picked up for regular pictures by Playboy until 1960.

Zita Johann in The Mummy

The lead actress of the film, German-born Zita Johann (1904-1993) was most famous for her role in The Mummy (1932) where she played the equivalents of the Rachel Weisz and the Patricia Velasquez roles from the 1999 re-make.  It's doubtful that she actually posed for Vargas who often used his wife as his model.

Friday, May 22, 2015

Oddly shaped Venus: Kate Upton

Now, fortunately we are all attracted to different types or there would be vicious competition for a small pool of mates.  Yesterday one of our readers took exception to us calling Kate Upton "deformed",  He ventured that she was "perfect" and it is nice that he finds her visually pleasing. However, we really cannot understand either his or America's love affair with this oddly-shaped woman.

Now she is certainly pretty and approaching beautiful.  She certainly has a massive pair of breasts, although Victoria's Secret have said that she looks too much like a Page 3 girl for them to use her (although she has done work for them in the past).  In fact from the top of her head down to the underside of her bust she is certainly, for example, Playboy Playmate material.  Below this point, however, it all starts to go awry. 

Basically, Upton has no waist and what waist she has is really high up her body and very wide (it is, reportedly, 28 inches).  She also has no visible hips.  So from below the bust to below her groin her body looks like a block of Spam.  Now she has posed for Sports Illustrated's swimsuit edition several times but of course, like all such magazines, they use Photoshop extensively.  So here is a video capture shot where no manipulation has been done.  That is one big, solid square below her bust.

Here is another unmanipulated shot of her wearing a badly fitting bikini in a runway show.

Now Upton has issues with her weight but this isn't about carrying too much fat; it's about basic body shape.   

Lets compare her to the UK's equivalent, Kelly Brook (whose weight also fluctuates).  Here is another unmanipulated candid shot of Kelly.  Look at her hip to waist ratio.

Here is Candice Swanpoel, another swimsuit model.  She has a waist too.

Upton isn't the only popular model without a waist.  Here is the world's highest paid model, Giselle Bundchen.  She looks like the product of a sex change operation.  Triple P doesn't find her remotely attractive.

So, sorry Kate fans, we do not find her body attractive at all.  Good for you, Kate, for forging a successful career from your body but we all know that there are two reasons that this has worked and those two reasons seem to overshadow the rest of you.  We like to appreciate the total woman.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Disappointing Venuses

Michelle Keegan

We have recently had the results of three women's objectification rankings and Triple P, we have to say, is rather disappointed in all of them.  

Firstly, is the result of the UK FHM 100 Sexiest Woman list.  Now the first thing to note about this is that FHM claim the top 100 are chosen by a poll (although that hasn't always been the case, so we remain doubtful -where are Ernst & Young to audit this?).   This year's winner is British actress and model Michelle Keegan.   Now 27 year old Michelle is a pretty (although not beautiful) girl with an impressive (and, supposedly, natural) figure but the sexiest woman in the world?  FHM tends to put women at the top who will pose for them again and Michelle, who since she left British soap opera Coronation Street last year has taken on such challenging acting parts as Tinkerbell in Peter Pan, will certainly be available.  Also she is due to marry a TV reality star very shortly so that will keep her (and FHM's name) in the news.

Several people have commented on the FHM site that this years Top 100 is "the worst ever".  The top 10 is:

1 Michelle Keegan
2 Kendall Jenner (can't believe British people are falling for the Kardashian's publicity machine)
3 Jennifer Lawrence (can't see her appeal at all)
4 Kate Upton (this woman's figure is so peculiar she actually looks deformed - she has no waist at all)
5 Caroline Flack (there is something slightly putrid about this woman - you'd never guess so many FHM readers watched Strictly Come Dancing)
6 Ariana Grande (no idea who she is)
7 Margot Robbie (Yes, fair enough, enjoyed her in the sadly short-lived Pan Am)
8 Lucy Mecklenburgh (although she is a reality TV star she is genuinely attractive)
9 Emilia Clarke (my vote!)
10 Kelly Brook (her publicist has been working like mad this year)

Taylor Swift

Also announced this week was the Maxim Hot 100, which has always been very much the BAFTAS to FHM's Oscars.  This year Maxim seem to be taking a different approach, led by new editor-in-chief Kate Lanphear, in offering up their top 100 in categories (models, actresses, ones to watch and singers) without any ranking (well not announced yet).  Although most of the women are very attractive their does seem to be an element of achievement being recognised with "relevance" being the watchword.  Clever.  The magazine isn't published until next week so we will have to see if they do go for an overall ranking or not.  Although originally a British magazine (like FHM) it hasn't been a print magazine in the UK since 2009 and is now run out of New York, hence the very US centric list.  Their number one choice this year (this does not seem to be a public vote but an editorial selection) is lanky beanpole singer Taylor Swift who, we would have thought, would appeal to women more than men.  Another strange choice but obviously chosen as part of the magazine's female-led re-branding strategy. Personally, we find her totally lacking in any erotic charge whatsoever and we have never heard her music so she is a complete cipher.

Dani Mathers

The third and final recent title announced was for Playboy's Playmate of the Year.  This is supposedly a public vote too but you can bet Hugh Hefner has a veto if the "wrong" person is chosen.  Again, this year's choice has been, on balance, unpopular with those commenting on the Playboy website.  Playboy featured some beautiful girls as Playmates last year, at least eight of them were absolutely world-class stunners.  Eleven out of twelve had natural busts but Playboy went for the girl with the ludicrous looking artificial ones, Dani Mathers.  Hugh Hefner, of course, seems to actually like women with plastic busts, incomprehensibly.  Now, in this Facebook obsessed world you have the ability, on the Playboy site, to "like" a pictorial.  Dani's Playmate of the Year one has, to date, attracted just 213 likes compared with over 400 for the pictorials (of natural girls) published immediately before and afterwards.  Mathers has slogged away for Playboy for the last few years, appearing in many pictorials and talking up the organisation so perhaps it is more a reward for loyalty than for beauty.  Her face actually looks not dissimilar to Taylor Swift in that she looks rather like a drowned cat.  Triple P has a theory about men who like plastic breasts.  We suspect that they have never actually had sex with a real woman as we cannot comprehend anyone who would enjoy getting tactile with these unpleasant looking and weird feeling appendages.  We did once end up with a girl (in California, naturally (or, rather, not)) who had plastic breasts and we have to say that the sight and feel of them made us slightly nauseous.  We were completely aware, at all times, of these alien implants inside her body.  Shudder!

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Non Centrefold Venus of the Month 20: Teri Christiansen, April 1978

We recently posted the Penthouse Couples Set, Sea Song, over on our Seduction of Venus blog.  That set, photographed by FW Eck and appearing in the December 1977 issue, featured a lady called Teri Christiansen.

Four months later Penthouse had a pictorial of just Teri, also shot by FW Eck, which appeared in the April 1978 issue, which featured July 1975's Pet of the Month, Jane Hargrave on the cover.

The Penthouse text accompanying the pictorial begins by saying that Teri is a dancer.  Now, of course we don't know if she was actually a dancer or whether they said that because she looked like she might be one.  She is certainly a slim, leggy girl.

The initial location for the shoot is at the sea shore which is recognisably the same as that for Sea Song, so the two shoots must have been done at the same time.

The location is the Rosario Islands, just south of the Caribbean city of Cartagena in Colombia.   There are many uninhabited rocky islets in the area which are ideal for having a leggy, naked girl disporting herself on.

The rest of the pictorial is shot back in Cartagena, at the Hotel Las Vilas, which, sadly, now no longer seems to exist otherwise Triple P might have gone along to look at it when he is next in Cartagena (possibly November).

These days, more often than not, a Penthouse Pet pictorial will often contain pictures from just one set up.  Gone are the days of long shoots over multiple locations with multiple wardrobe changes.  Hear we have Teri in a couple of outfits (well, just shoes in one case!) which we didn't see elsewhere in the pictorial.

This is an intriguing shot because in the reflection of the mirror on the wall we can see a naked,embracing couple.  Who are they?  Is it the man from Sea Song?

Inside, Teri lounges on a sofa covered with a throw of some sort.  She certainly has extreme tan lines and in one or two of the outdoors shots actually looks a little sunburnt.  Traditionally, glamour photographers smear baby oil on sunburnt bodies as the sheen distracts from the red skin somewhat.

Teri admires her prominent clitoris but keeps her stomach covered with a scarf.  If you look at some of the shots of her on the beach she appears to have a patch of pale skin in her sunburn around her belly button so perhaps the photographer wanted to cover up this distraction.

Some of these shots look like they have been done on a balcony or terrace so it is difficult to tell if they are inside or outside.

Of course, big cane chairs developed all sorts of Emmanuelle connotations in the seventies.

Teri certainly has a nicely toned pair of legs.  Whether she really was the 37-23-35 that Penthouse maintained we are somewhat doubtful.

Smiling then sultry Teri displays herself in pink

Tight, is the word we would use to describe Miss Christiansen's rear end here.

Bananas, of course, are one of Colombia's biggest exports.  70% of all bananas eaten in Britain come from Colombia.  I'm not sure where this one is going, however.

This appears to be the same dress she is wearing in the pictorial title shot (top) where she is standing in front of one of the carriages that will take you on a tour of the old town (Cartagena is the only walled city in South America).  Anyway, we like the leggy Teri and she has a distinctive face and strong nose.

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Cocktail Venus No 2: Angel's Tit by Gloria

We have featured one of Playboy's nineteen fifties cocktail recipe illustrations before but here we have another one, from the April 1954 issue by an illustrator who signs herself Gloria.   This racy angel, perched on a small cloud is to illustrate the pre-prohibition cocktail the Angel's Tit (yes, really).

It's an early layered cocktail and consists of 2/3 maraschino liqueur at he bottom of a stemmed (Playboy suggests a pony) glass.  Then pour one third double cream on the top so it floats on the maraschino.  Top with a maraschino cherry "nipple".  It sounds totally disgusting which is why these days it is also made with Dark Creme de Cacao instead. 

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Venus Revealed: The Pubic Wars Part 12 1980 part 2

We have just published our latest episode of the Pubic Wars which, for some reason known only to Blogger, has appeared dated March 6th further back in the blog.  You can find it here.